Mary Bender, age 85, passed away peacefully on February 17, 2026. A devoted wife, loving mother, cherished grandmother and great-grandmother, Mary leaves behind a legacy of faith, kindness, and unwavering love. She was the adoring wife of the late Ralph Bender and the proud matriarch of a beautiful and growing family.
Mary was born on April 24, 1940, in Sheboygan, to Peter and Delia (Dirkse) DenBoer. She grew up surrounded by the warmth and laughter of a large family, one of ten children, along with many aunts, uncles, and cousins who filled her childhood with love. From an early age, Mary learned the importance of faith, generosity, and caring for others—values she carried with her throughout her life.
One of Mary’s favorite childhood memories was accompanying her father and sister as they sang hymns at a nursing home. That simple yet meaningful act of sharing joy through song reflected the compassionate spirit that defined her life.
Mary was a faithful member of First Reformed Church in Cedar Grove, Wisconsin, where her faith remained a guiding light. She lived her beliefs daily—through kindness, service, and a heart that was always open to others.
Education was important to Mary. She attended school in the Oostburg School District and graduated from Oostburg High School in 1958. Throughout her life, she continued learning by taking courses at various colleges. Mary took great pride in her career as an Internal Revenue Service Auditor with the Internal Revenue Service, where she earned recognition and awards for her dedication and excellence in service. Her strong work ethic and integrity were evident in all she did.
Above all, Mary’s greatest joy was her family. As a mother, grandmother, sister, and aunt, she was generous, loving, and endlessly supportive. She loved traveling, spending time with family and friends, gathering with her “winter snowbird” friends in Florida, and sharing her wonderful sense of humor. Her jokes and laughter brought light to every room
Mary is survived by her daughter, Kim Vargas; her stepsons Ralph Bender, Joe (Renee) Bender, and John (Patti) Beaber; and her beloved grandchildren Pete (Kim) Vargas, Brenda Vargas, Tasha (Werner) Buchhalter, Serena Hernandez, Armando Barrera, Robert Barrera, Serena Barrera, and Chrissy (Byron) Morgan. She was blessed with great-grandchildren Keeton, Mia, Emma, and Shiloh Vargas; Shariah and Rhubin Harris; Brea Burns; Kaliyah Hernandez; Aniyah Bonier; and Myles and Madyson Morgan. She is also survived by her siblings Nancy Salm, John (Judy) DenBoer, Johanna (Philip) Dulmes, and Alan (Deb) DenBoer, along with many nieces and nephews who adored her. For a special season of her life, Mary also poured her love into her great-great foster grandson, Nehki Mays.
She was preceded in death by her beloved husband Ralph Bender; her parents Peter and Delia DenBoer; her brothers Jerry, Peter, and James DenBoer; her sisters Edith DenBoer and Carol Feldmann; her stepdaughter Diana Barrera; and her stepson Billy Bender.
Mary will be deeply missed, especially by her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who adored her with all their hearts. Her love was steady, her faith was strong, and her presence was a gift to everyone who knew her.
Though our hearts ache in her absence, we find comfort in knowing she is now at peace. We cannot hold her in our arms, but we hold her forever in our hearts. Heaven has welcomed home a beautiful soul—a devoted mother, grandmother, sister, and friend.
A Celebration of Life memorial service will be held at the First Reformed Church
of Cedar Grove with Rev. Kent Van Hul officiating on March 7th. Visitation from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. with the church service beginning at 1:00 p.m. She will be laid to rest privately with family at Oakhill cemetery in Plymouth, Indiana.
All who knew and loved Mary are invited to join in honoring her remarkable life.
Wenig Funeral Home – Oostburg (920-564-2271) is assisting the family. Please visit wenigfh.com for online condolences.
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